mardi, mai 10, 2005

HULA COUGAR! still loves netting the interns!

Live show! HULA COUGAR! at Pianos in NYC! This Thursday, May the 12th! 7:30pm! LIVE! NOT DEAD!



jeudi, mai 05, 2005

the LEGEND of HULA COUGAR!

People! Bunnies! Gird your loins for HULA COUGAR! appearing LIVE! not DEAD! at Pianos, Thursday May 12, 8pm!

WHO LA COUGAR?
Here is how it happened.

Sometime in 2004, a cougar living in a small town in British Columbia, Canada, decided to go on an adventure. People (and cougars) seeking adventure are usually told to "go west!" but if you go west from British Columbia, Canada, you wind up in the ocean. That is not much of an adventure, because cougars don't like to swim.

So the cougar ran east.

And ran.

And ran.

And ran.

Eventually he found himself in a tiny hamlet in the woods of Quebec. He was very tired and hungry from running all the way across Canada. Luckily, the cougar was discovered by a sympathetic man named Serge, who promptly took the cougar in for a nap and some poutine. Serge's friend Yvette came over that evening and was pleasantly surprised to find a cougar curled up on Serge's couch. The cougar was watching "Room Raiders" on MTV, because cougars love MTV.

Serge and Yvette had been planning a road trip, and since the cougar was in the mood for more adventure, they all piled into Serge's red van. Their destination: New Jersey.

Here is where the story becomes sad, or at least wistful. Serge was driving (responsibly) along the Brooklyn-Queens Expressway. Yvette and the cougar were singing songs of travel and adventure in the back. The cougar, as it happened, was very musically inclined. JUST THEN! A massive truck swerved into their lane. Serge, being Canadian and therefore unaccustomed to American defensive-driving standards, simply ducked behind the wheel.

CRASH. BANG. SKREEE. BOOM.

Serge and Yvette woke by the side of the road with emergency responders standing over them. They were not seriously injured, but the shattered windows had scraped and scratched and scarred their faces. Serge's van was wrecked, and worst of all...

THE COUGAR WAS GONE.

"Where is our cougary friend?" cried Serge.
"Come back to us, dear cougar!" sighed Yvette.

The emergency personnel promptly administered sedatives and put Serge and Yvette on a plane back to Canada, because in Canada they have health insurance and prescription drugs.

Now Serge and Yvette must find their missing friend. They wear masks to hide their scraped and scratched and scarred faces, but they behave much like cougars, in order to attract their cougar. Their cougar had mentioned a desire to learn the art of hula-hooping at some point, so Serge and Yvette adopted the name HULA COUGAR! and set out to make musics and performances that might, with any luck, lure a passing cougar in, so they can all return to Canada together.

THE MUSIC OF HULA COUGAR!

HULA COUGAR! makes music that is loud. This is so the cougar will hear, if he is in the area. There is movement, colorful outfits, lyrics about eating bunnies, banging, shaking, rattling, etc., because these are all things that appeal to cougars. Conveniently, these are also things that appeal to humans, at least some humans, the smart ones, that is.